Rasrok the Blotched

"Hail, yerself. What you want? Youse shud know dat youse talkin to a hee-ro. Me give many peeples [nightmares] and dat make Cazic-Thule happy soes he tooks me to da [Realm of Heroes]. I live dere a long time but now me back here agin. My job iz ta reward dose dat urned favor in da eyes of da gods."

"Dis a long story but I like tellin it cuz it about me. Trolls is gud cooks but youse need da right ingredients to make da really gud stuff. Meez always liked da taste of dem [high elves] da best so meez went to where day live over on Faydwer. Sometimes day hard to catch and day get away. Den day bring back dair friends and try to git you and dats bad."

"Uh-huh. Day taste da best all right. Tink it is cuz day eat so many vegetables and stuff. Makes dem taste kinda like a rabbit. Soes anyway, meez saw one alone one day so meez run it down and kills it good. But it weren't a high elf. It wuz really one of dem dark elves dat had a [ring] dat made him look like one of dem udder elves. I ates him anyway but he wuz kinda stringy."

"Yup. Soes meez gots dis ring and I can use it ta look like one of dem high elves. Meez thought it wuz a good way to git dem. Soes I walk around in dair villages and stuff for a while and thought about all dem tasty elves. But meez had a [problem]. Even though I could get close to dem lookin like day do, day wouldn't follow me away from dair towns soes I could eat dem."

"Da problem is dat dose elves talk in a funny accent. Day would look at me funny when I talks to dem. Soes this is what meez do. I looked fer one of da smart ones ta leave from his shop one night and I caught him but didn't eat him. I took him back to da [cave] I was stayin in. I kept da ring on still but meez told him I wanted him to learn meez to talk like da udder elves. After learnin me dat, meez said meez would let him go."

"Soes he learn me ta talk like da elves do. Took a few months but I learned it. I figgered it was worth all da effort since meez would have all da high elf meat meez could want after dat. After meez tink he did a good job at teachin me to talk like da udder elves, meez ate him. Want meez ta [show you how] dose elves talk over dere?"

"Day go like dis. . . 'How are you gentlemen!!! It is a fine day today you must agree. Would you care to have a look at my wares? Perhaps you would be interested in purchasing one of my savory meat pies.' Day are stoopid like dat. Meez could say enough tings like dem dat day weren't no longer scared. Soes what I did next wuz what [started] meez on da [path] dat urned me da favor of Cazic-Thule."